12 years of companionship gone in two hours. He is in every corner of this house. I look back to say bye to him when I open the door to leave. Look for him behind the glass window where he peeps when I open the gate. How can he be not there? House is full of him. But he is nowhere. Not on his corner of the sofas. Not there to wake me up with his yawns. Not there to come to me for a bit of massage. His bowl of water is no more in the corner.
Every corner of this house he was present. Can’t walk past the supermarket shelves where I used to pick up his stuff. Mutton kababs, fresh beef, brown kubus, wheat/oats flour.
Sometimes I feel he left me intentionally. To give me my freedom. No need to rush back home. No need to come back home at all. No one is waiting. Wonder what was going on in his mind while he was staring at me for long stretches while I am working.
There is no one to give sponge bathe to. No one to rub almond oil on, no one to feed medicine hidden in a kabab.
How long this void would last. Hope it never ends. I need that pain to remember him every minute.
Missing his hair on the floor, missing his poo & pee outside, missing even his sometimes bad smell!